My Dog Is Dying: The Real Life Crappy Choice Diary, Entry 5

Murphy is dying. My beloved Cavalier King Charles Spaniel has a tumor on her spleen.

Murphy is 13-1/2. Because of early problems, I’ve been cooking for her for 11 years. Turkey, veggies, fruit. Supplements. A strong healthy diet for a vigorous dog.

Yes, I’ve been cooking for my dog. It works for us, but it’s time-consuming.

I have to think ahead, to make sure she has food, and because I’m handicapped, and working, I have to buy and cook enough to freeze it in portions in case something comes up and I can’t cook.

Dying came up and now I’m stumped.

We discovered the tumor by accident. Pure really dumb luck, if something that horrible can remotely be termed ‘luck.’ But here’s the thing.

In being practical and planning ahead for meals, how far do I plan ahead for a dying dog?

Usually, I stock up on turkey once a month, buying eight pounds or so to feed Murphy and Grace the Cat (poor Alki has to eat something else). But yesterday I was standing in front of the meat counter, wondering just how much I should buy at $5.50/lb for Diestel ground turkey. I caught myself literally thinking: “How much do I gamble here?”

True, Grace the Cat and I can always eat the meat. The problem is in mixing all the ingredients, including bone meal and spirulina, to make the particular meals I feed Murphy. The meals that got Murphy healthy years ago, and kept her healthy until, well, now.

But how many more meals should I make for Murphy? A month’s worth? That would take more than eight pounds. And the freezer is pretty full.

Should I go for realism, meaning I have no clue how long she’ll live? Should I just give in to despair and buy a few pounds? Or, when 10 days go by and I have to cook another batch for her, will I smile, because I won one—I beat death a bit longer?

I don’t know what made me decide.

But I bought three.

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz