February 23, 2025

My Dog Is Dying: The Real Life Crappy Choice Diary, Entry 20

my dying dogLandmark days—those days that hold special meaning in our lives—are times to stop and celebrate and remember. They are the days that build families and communities—in multi-species families, they include adoption days, birthdays, breakthroughs, and deaths.

I remember the day I figured out what the book about my life with Murphy was all about. I was so excited I turned on Mickey Hart’s CD, Planet Drum, yelling, “Murphy, I figured it out!”

She came charging into the room and danced with me. As I danced, she leaped up on her hind legs and punched the air, then went down on her front legs to flip her back legs up. We danced together, a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel break-dancing, and a clumsy human almost keeping rhythm with a rowdy drummer.

That was a landmark day with Murphy. I will remember another landmark day now: Thursday, March 8, 2012, the day I lost her.

I will also remember it as the day nature itself reached out to honor her, and comfort me.

I will remember the moon. The eagles. And the dragons.

We were up before dawn that day. Murphy needed to go out, so I carried her down the stairs and out onto the front lawn—into the light of the full moon as it started to set across Puget Sound. We stood in the moonlight as it arced over us, a shining river of light racing the water. I was awed and delighted, and as I glanced at Murphy, our eyes met. She faced the moon with me as I raised my arms wide and thanked it for its beauty.

When we came inside I hurried to our sliding doors, raised the blinds, and welcomed the moon inside. Once again I spread my arms wide and smiled at it as I felt its warmth sweep through me and flood our home. I felt the moon had come to greet us and fill us up with love.

About 7 a.m. I made a quick trip to the grocery store. As I pulled up to a Stop sign at the beach two bald eagles soared out of a tree and glided over the water. I watched as the adult eagle gently dipped its talons into Puget Sound and came up with a fish, while the immature following it swooped around it. I had to smile: the parent was teaching its child how to fish. While we see eagles and their offspring a lot at the beach, I had never seen one catch a fish before, and it was comforting. Life goes on.

We were into Day 3 of Murphy’s sudden lethargy. She had abruptly vomited her breakfast on Tuesday morning and had eaten only a few bites since. We’d been to the vet Tuesday afternoon for subcutaneous fluids, and gone back on Wednesday for more, and to learn how to administer them. Her vet and I agreed at that point that she was not just ill, like her recent bronchial infection: it was clear the cancer had spread to her gut. He thought we could support her through the weekend with fluids administered at home. My hope was that she would die quietly in the next few days, and spare me the choice of euthanasia.

I think now that our vet was being optimistic. I talked to him briefly early Thursday, that last afternoon. Murphy was not better, and we agreed on seeing where the next 24-48 hours would take us.

All three of us knew. We just didn’t know when.

As the day progressed I realized that bald eagles were everywhere. In the few minutes I was in the back of our home their shadows swept the hillside. As I sat with Murphy and attended to my other dog, Alki, and Grace the Cat, they’d fly by, low enough for me to see their backs from our second story home. They glided by, and circled the trees at the light house across the street.

At one point I said to Murphy, “The eagles are really busy today.”

Late in the afternoon I leaned down to her and gently caressed her face. Our eyes met, hers dull with fatigue. I bit back tears as I said, “Murphy, I’m taking Alki for a quick walk. If you need to go while I’m not here, you can. It’s all right. If that’s what you need, it’s all right.”

And it was all right. Murphy had dragons with her.

In our strange and weirdly wonderful world, there are beings we don’t know much about. Like dragons—not the evil creatures of lore but magnificent multi-dimensional beings who support the planet and all who live here. There are also jobs we could never imagine, and beings we might think unlikely to do them—one of the most unusual jobs is being an ambassador to the dragon kingdom. It is a role Murphy has filled in multiple lifetimes, and certainly in this one since dragons came back into the world in 2005.

Yes, my beloved, aging Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Murphy, is the ambassador to the dragon kingdom.

I admit, I don’t quite understand what that is. What I did know is that as a dog she didn’t have to worry about human preconceptions, and could simply act as the go-between for the dragons, working at the subconscious dimensional level to lay the groundwork for a new cooperative era between the dragons and, well, everything else on the planet.

I know, awesome, isn’t it? When Murphy first told me about the dragons, I was shocked. “There are jobs like that?” I asked her, awed. Apparently. Clearly other beings knew about her, because a number had come visiting in recent years, anxious to meet Murphy because she was the gateway to the dragons.

They told me the idea was if they got in good with Murphy they’d get in good with the dragons. Except that Murphy had a cantankerous, overprotective mom/friend figure who kicked a lot of them out. But all that’s another story.

This one is about how dragons honor their friends, especially their ambassadors.

The dragons are always with our family, and they were particularly close in the weeks leading up to Murphy’s death. They were working with the new energy system that has come to our family, and with their own, to support Murphy in her dying, to keep her as healthy and vigorous as possible as death approached, and to make the transition as seamless as possible. They were there for us. In the last few weeks, the queen, my friend, had been wrapped around me, protecting my grieving heart, helping me protect Murphy’s. And the king, our friend, Murphy’s special friend, had been kneeling in front of her, opening space for the transition.

The dragons were pressing close those last few days. Closer in the last few hours. I could feel them, and the amazing intuitive I work with, Debrae FireHawk, confirmed that they were there.

Late in the afternoon I left Murphy alone for 15 minutes to take Alki on a quick walk.

As we were heading home, another bald eagle flew towards us. At last I realized that I had seen more eagles that day than ever before. And more—I realized that they had been flying strategically all day, so I couldn’t fail to miss them.

That day, we were surrounded by eagles.

As that thought hit me, I stopped our walk and looked up at the adult bald eagle who was hovering feet above my head, ignoring a persistent gull.

“Have the eagles come for Murphy?” I asked, both awed and fearful.

“No,” the eagle said. “We fly to honor. The dragons are here for Murphy.”

I thanked the eagle for its service and hurried home.

As we walked in the door, Murphy opened her eyes and stared at me. The ancient, loving soul I had known for so many lifetimes, in three different bodies since I was a child in this lifetime, was there looking back at me.

“I see you, beloved,” I said to her. “I love you.”

A few minutes later Murphy’s spleen bled, swelling her belly tight and turning her gums white as she gently panted. The end was upon us.

I picked her up and held her close, weeping.

I called Debrae, who reported that the dragons had indeed come for Murphy. The king had left our side and was circling the building, creating space for Murphy to die.

The eagle was correct: the dragons had come for Murphy.

I decided to help them. After fighting for so many years to give Murphy the best life possible, I now realized that helping her out of it was the best, kindest, most loving thing I could do. Within the hour a good friend was there, and she took us to the vet, who agreed with me. It was time.

I made sure I was the last thing Murphy saw, that even though she was deaf, my voice and heart telling her I loved her was the last thing she heard.

It didn’t matter. She already knew that. She passed instantly, peacefully.

That night, I sat with my crystals, the sturdy columbite I use for clearing and grounding, and my crystal partner, Fallon. I sank deep into the columbite and felt my body release the shock of Murphy’s passing as the columbite settled like a warm blanket around me. I was at peace, quiet, resting.

Then I held Fallon close, my healing partner. I rested, breathing deeply. I slowly felt the pain not so much ease as move aside as my heart gently expanded. With each breath it grew and a warm softness moved in. With awe and gratitude I understood that Murphy was there, settling gently in my heart, filling it with a breadth and depth it did not have before.

My beloved had come home to me, nestling in my heart. She’s safe now, and so am I: the essence of her is never farther away than my next breath.

In the course of my work much of my life with Murphy and my animal family is a public record. At one point, several years ago, when I’d been told that Murphy’s life was ending, I’d held a party to celebrate her and our life together. It was wonderful. And it kept her here for almost 2-1/2 more years.

Her funeral was a different thing entirely.

I madly cleaned house the morning after she died, as much to clear my head as the house itself.

And that afternoon Alki and Grace the Cat and I celebrated Murphy’s life. We held her funeral in our house, where we had all lived together. Just us.

Well, that’s how it started.

I did a space cooperating session, thoroughly clearing our home’s vibrations, and ours. I sent copal through the house, and opened all the windows and doors to send it into the neighborhood. I used incense and smudge sticks and a bubbling fountain and sea salt and lit every light in the house.

I brought Fallon and the crystals into the mix, appreciating their voices raised in song.

And then I turned on Mickey Hart and Planet Drum, loud enough to be heard a block away.

I pounded my thighs as drums. I bounced. I danced. And as I whirled into the center of the room, Murphy came back to dance with me.

“This is fun,” she yelled, laughing, as once again, one last time, my beautiful soul mate danced with me.

With Alki and with Grace the Cat.

And then the others arrived, and we danced with them.

With our home and crystals. With Mount St. Helens and Yellowstone. With that rock-and-rolling goddess of love and fertility who works with us.

And with those raucous dragons. Together, all the beings we loved and worked with came to Murphy’s funeral to celebrate her amazing life.

I know that the community of all life is real, that everything is alive. That day, the community of life joined us to honor Murphy.

Now, I knew the dragons had prepared a reception to honor their departing ambassador. I knew the dragons had two new ambassadors in place: yes, it took two to replace Murphy, a rebel and a goofbucket, Robyn and Alki. We have no idea what we’re doing, but we’ll do it.

And I knew the dragons had honored my request, and Murphy’s, to speed her on her way. Murphy did not go into that gray zone that the dying seem to go to. The instant she died the king of the dragons himself whisked her into his arms and straight to my father’s, who runs what I call The Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side. That, too, is another story. When I next talked to Murphy, a few hours after she died, she was safe with him, thanking me for everything I’d done, proclaiming it all “Perfect.”

So at Murphy’s funeral we laughed, and cried, and danced.

Murphy is safe now. She’s off on new journeys when she’s not visiting. And we move on. Her body is gone, but her great loving heart is deep inside mine.

It has opened a bottomless well of compassion in me that has already enriched my life and helped my clients.

It has helped me remember.

It reminds me, in the moments when breathing is hard, that Murphy will be there in the next breath, when, of course, she isn’t off doing whatever ambassadors to the dragons do when they’re out of their bodies and planning their next act.

Like creating giant dust clouds on Mars.

Laughing. Working. Loving.

Dancing.

My beloved Murphy.

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz

Eagles, Fish, Dogs, and Turkeys: Persistence Pays Off

 

(c) Gary R. Jones

Last year we had a few months that were both fun and hard at our house. Fun because I met wonderful people at writing events and at intuitive events with my crystal partner, Fallon. People who make me believe that community is possible and present and glad that I keep trying. No matter what.

Hard because both my dogs landed in the ER in the middle of the night, three days apart. Murphy almost died from the dog flu, which is epidemic out here these days. And Alki ripped a toenail off in his sleep, proving that bizarre clumsiness is routine at our house.  A month later Grace the Cat got sick. And I was in PT for two painful injuries. We were all sleep deprived, wondering how to keep going, and, okay, hungry.

The solution? We cooked our Thanksgiving turkey early. Grace supervised from the counter while the dogs watched in awe as I lifted the turkey to present it to them—only to see it slide off the platter and hit the floor. Grace was appalled, which is her usual reaction to my cooking, but the dogs were, well, dogs, and immediately rushed forward to clean up the mess.

I had to laugh. I had living proof that even well-mannered, laid-back Cavalier King Charles Spaniels can and will seize any opportunity that presents itself. A meal is a meal, sometimes an adventure, and always a gift.

Which reminds me of the fascinating bald eagles of Alki Beach in Seattle. They are frequently challenged here, but they never give up. They ignore obstacles, or somehow get around them. Do they always win? Of course not. But they don’t stop going around.

(c) Danny L. McMillin

Like the bald eagle I spotted recently, being swarmed by gulls above the Alki Point Light House. The eagle calmly flew through the gulls, despite being so pressured it could barely spread its wings. It swooped down towards the beach and disappeared from sight. Shortly afterwards the eagle flew up again and right through the angry gulls. Clutching a large fish.

Awesome!

Once again I’d been inspired by a bald eagle to challenge myself (and my animal family) to keep going, ignore the obstacles, or figure out a way to get through them. The eagle kept its focus on lunch and scored, despite being harassed by the neighborhood bullies.

My family could focus and persist, too. And did. Yes. We ignored the messed-up turkey and ate it. And laughed as we put a hard month behind us.

Despite our obstacles, my family and I persevered. We celebrated life and love together. Our favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, even when the turkey gets away.

It didn’t get far, and neither does love at our house.

May we always celebrate together. Enjoy our challenges. They’re part of the story. And the gift of life.

Persevere. Love. Laugh.

Keep trying.

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz

Are You Stuck? Or Living a Bald Eagle Life?

 

(c) Gary R. Jones

If life were easy we wouldn’t get stuck. Or laugh. It’s all in our perspective.

Which reminds me of the bald eagles who share our beach with us. I love these birds, and I sometimes think it would fun to be one. And then I think: “raw fish.” Eww.

Yes, it’s definitely about perspective.

Do we learn from whatever comes at us, and enjoy life, or do we overwhelm ourselves with resentment and ‘what if’s’?

 Perspective: Ever had an eagle yell at you? One morning about 6 I was out with my dogs, waiting for them to do their “stuff.” An adult bald eagle was perched in a nearby Madrona tree. It peered close at us, glared at my dogs, and then cocked its head to glare at me! And screech! Really, I clean up, but that day I did it facing that screechy bird! I giggled all day, and got some great work done. Does the mundane ever become hilarious? And an inspiration to shine at your work? If not, how can it be? 

(c) Gary R. Jones

Watch your back: Eagles don’t always get along. They’re quite clear about what works for them, and what doesn’t. They get things done.

Do you work out misunderstandings? How? Do you stand your ground when you need to, honoring your commitment to your clients? To yourself? Your family?

Keep your eyes on the prize: Eagles are always watching. Something.

If you don’t reach for the moon, the stars, and everything in between, how do you become great? Be fully present in the moment. Be aware of your surroundings. Be grateful.

Live in the moment: Last spring I saw a bald eagle soaring above I-5 in downtown Seattle, catching the air currents, skillful, unconcerned, uninterested in all the humans stuck in traffic below it. That eagle was free and wild, not impeded by lane changes.

Are you? What inspires you to fly free? What gets you unstuck? What makes you laugh?

I’m willing to learn from my nonhuman mentors. Are you?

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz

 

Getting Unstuck with Bald Eagles

(c) Danny L. McMllin

What inspires you to keep going, no matter what? Is it an admirable person? A dynamic leader? A work of art?

Bald eagles inspire me. Watching them in my Seattle neighborhood reminds me to keep going, no matter what.

Yes, bald eagles.

Why do I write about nonhuman mentors? Because my business is about challenging mindset through storytelling, and creating new ways of thinking about life in the world with my crystal partner, Fallon. Because the people, and businesses, who prosper think outside the norm, to learn from the world around them.

Bald eagles are normal: we just don’t see them that much. So when we do, or hear about them, we stop and think about just what it is we’re seeing. And learning.

I’m inspired by watching eagle generations: the mature bald eagles with the classic white heads and tails and their growing offspring, the mottled maybe-two-year-olds I call the juveniles (okay, maybe the technical term is ‘immature’).

Eagles clearly have the basics in life nailed down. They’re fully present in the act of being bald eagles, even when they goof up.

We, however, live in the most technologically advanced civilization ever, but many of us are stuck. Who isn’t for getting unstuck?

Nail the landing: One morning I looked out the window and saw several dozen crows and gulls in flight, harassing an eagle, who ignored them as it majestically landed in a fir tree. For an instant it was magical, and then the eagle fell out of the tree. As it fell it immediately took flight, with the gulls and crows still after it.

Do you get cocky? Where do you need to tweak your life plans? How quickly do you recover from your goof-ups? In time to soar? Or do you crash? What’s the difference?

Respect your elders; understand the risks: Grace the Cat, our family cat, is an indoor cat except for regular forays through our deck garden. You’d think she’d be clueless about the badass world out there, but she is Grace. She sits in the window, scolds the chickadees and crows, and spies on passing cats, raccoons, possums, squirrels, and even an occasional coyote, but … a bald eagle? One day Grace was strolling towards our sliding glass doors when an adult eagle perched on the light pole across the street swiveled its head and stared right at her. For one stunning instant Grace and the eagle were eye to eye, then Grace promptly flattened herself on the floor, head tucked under her arm. Smart cat, not taking any chances! Scold a crow, yes. Hunt an eagle? Never.

How street smart are you? What do you do when someone is bigger and badder than you are? Duck and cover? Change tactics? Play nice? Hide?

(c) Gary R. Jones

Run in a good crowd: When bald eagles hang out, it’s with other bald eagles. Every other bird is either after them (clearly not successful, since the eagles ignore them) or respectfully hanging on the sidelines.

Who are the eagles in your life? Why? What do you learn from them? What do they learn from you? Do they inspire you?

Our challenge for greatness: I’m willing to learn from my nonhuman mentors. Are you? It’s a lot less pressure, and a lot more storytelling. The thing is, we know humans, even when we think we don’t. But if you look at the nonhumans you see how others get along (or don’t), without all the game playing that humans do. The lessons we learn from them are priceless: we’re not pressured to conform, as we often are with humans. We’re simply given space to observe and appreciate other life.

To get unstuck from the daily grind. To learn from it. Which helps us soar.

Which makes us great.

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz

Living the Bald Eagle Life: Our Challenge for Greatness

(c) Danny L. McMillin

Who are your role models? What challenges you to greatness?

Okay, easy if you’re thinking humans, but my work is about creating community with all life. I tend to draw inspiration from the world around me.

Like bald eagles. Let’s take a look.

Bald eagles regularly perch in a scraggly Madrona tree above our Alki Beach neighborhood in Seattle, benignly ignoring their oh-so-human admirers (and their many crow and gull detractors). Traffic stops, crowds gather, and those of us privileged to live here just smile. We love our eagles.

One thing that is particularly fascinating is sharing our beach with eagle generations: the mature bald eagles with the classic white heads and tails and their growing offspring, the mottled maybe-two-year-olds I call the juveniles (and perhaps the bird people call ‘immatures’).

I tend to look beyond humans for inspiration, from learning to get along to being the best person I can be, personally and professionally. For role models I look to our bald eagles: they work hard to earn a living, but they know what to concentrate on, and when. Bald eagles live their lives triumphantly, despite the occasional goof-ups.

 What Challenges You to Greatness?

Who are your role models? What do you learn from them? What challenges you to greatness?

Is it the economy? We’re told it sucks and the stress is making people nuts. But what if we saw our economic quandary as an opportunity?

Think positive. Challenge our mindset. Think fresh. Think …

What in the world can we learn from a bald eagle?

Eagles get what counts: the basics. And they’re fully present in the act of being: bald eagles. Even when they goof up.

Sure, they have to get the basics: screw up in nature and you die. (True for us, too, though, isn’t it?) But somehow we just expect more from bald eagles. After all, they’re not only back from the brink of extinction but confident, strong, and sure of their place in the world.

We, however, don’t always get that bald eagles are just like us: greatness prone to goof-ups. So what does that teach us?

 Learn from experience: I watched the bald eagle parents teaching their kids the aerodynamics of flying. They circled and swooped over the Alki Point Light House, the parents dipping in and around the juveniles, who’d clumsily struggle to imitate them, over and over.

Who is teaching you to fly? How hard are you working to learn? How do you measure success? Practice practice practice.

Perseverence: Out with my dogs, I watched two juveniles circling above me, barely clearing a light pole, laboring to gain altitude. They didn’t quit, even with gulls and crows diving at them. In fact, about the third circling they actually began to look graceful as they succeeded.

How do you gain altitude? What keeps you going, and learning?

I keep learning. If something isn’t working in my business, I tweak it or try something new. But I don’t forget the basics. We all have to stay afloat.

(c) Gary R. Jones

Ignore the crowd: Gulls and crows constantly harass the eagles, ganging up on them, chasing and diving at them. I’ve never seen the eagles fight back: they ignore their tormenters, even as they’re often driven off. But they always go where they want to, and they keep coming back. Recently I saw two crows harassing an eagle sitting in a fir tree across the street. Even when one crow raked its butt and knocked it off balance, the eagle simple re-balanced and adjusted its feathers, never once acknowledging the crows.

What’s chasing you? Do you know where you’re going, and why? Do you shrug off disappointments or take them out on others? What keeps you coming back? What makes you the boss, or a team player?

Excel at what you do: I noticed an osprey making off with a fish so heavy the osprey fought to hang on to it and still fly. An eagle swooped in, chasing and snatching at the osprey, trying to get it to drop the fish. The osprey dodged and kept going, until the eagle hit it hard enough it dropped the fish. The eagle snatched it mid-air and flew off.

What keeps you persevering? What makes you give up? What do you excel at? Why? What’s working for you? What’s challenging you to greatness?

Who are your role models, and why?

(c) 2012 Robyn M Fritz

Bald Eagles: Neighborhood Shares

Driving home this afternoon I had to smile: a bald eagle soared overhead, ignoring the crow flying up its tailpipe, so to speak. I appreciated both the snooty “you can’t get me” that the eagles have apparently patented and the “never say never” attitude of our neighborhood crows.

Yes, this isn’t a picture of a crow chasing an eagle, but you get the idea. Yes, it’s cold all year here on our Seattle beach, but every day is wonderful.

Here are more eagle pictures from neighborhood photographer Gary R. Jones. Remember they are © 2012 Gary R. Jones. They are here at Bridging the Paradigms because he loves eagles and photography and wants to share. Please respect his copyright.

Take a good look at this one! Talk about fishing for your dinner!

 

When Neighbors are Creatives: and Share Bald Eagles

Seattle has bonuses. Some of them are bald eagles.

In our Seattle neighborhood we cherish our bald eagles. Some of us are old enough to remember when they just weren’t around. The youngest of us take them for granted.

And some of our neighbors are skilled photographers who freely share their love of bald eagles and photography with all of us.

Gary R. Jones is one of those people. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some recent bald eagle photos he shared with me.

They are copyrighted: © 2012 Gary R. Jones. Please enjoy them and respect them.

Bridging the Paradigms isn’t the best showcase for photos. It is, however, a place where community is respected and appreciated, where good businesses and people are promoted.

Enjoy.

Cool Things We Need to Know

This week we’ve all heard how incompetent we are: according to the media, none of us pee enough or understand that nuclear power was idiotic to begin with. Some of us do and did. That includes me. How about you?

While you’re thinking about it, here’s something to like: check out Field Study Stars Rock the Animal World at MSNBC.com. We have bald eagles, raccoons, all kinds of wild critters, including river otters (I swear one tried to trip me and the dogs the night we were trying to find the Super Moon, which is why you’d never find any member of my family trying to find any of these animal rock stars in the wild, or anywhere else, we are simply not competent).

One thing I am good at is getting my wonderful neighbor, Danny L. McMillin, to send me cool photos for my sites. Here’s an eagle, looking at you!

Welcome to spring (maybe)!

 

(c) 2011 Robyn M Fritz

 

Soaring into Spring with the Bald Eagles of Alki

Spread Your Wings

I am constantly blessed to witness the love of art and artistic genius in the world, especially when it’s literally in my back yard.And to bring it to the world as best I can. It is all part of building community.

My neighbor and friend, Danny L. McMillin, is an athlete, a computer expert, a proud REI employee, a friend of terriers, currently Airedales (and cats, and my own beloved Cavaliers), and the husband of my good friend, Ellen.

Danny is also an artist whose photography never fails to stun and delight me and all of us who see it and are lucky enough to own a piece. Danny has freely offered me wonderful photographs for Bridging the Paradigms, and is in fact the artist behind the stunning photograph of Alki Beach that is the foundation of my branding and my websites’ banners. I am so proud of this amazing artist!

Taking Flight

Danny recently sent me pictures of a bald eagle launching itself from the dying Madrona tree above our West Seattle neighborhood.

Here’s the sequence, with Danny’s permission. Please note they are (c) 2011 Danny L. McMillin. And please share them with everyone you know: our bald eagles are precious to us, as are the artists like Danny who photograph them.

If you’d like to contact Danny about purchasing one of his pictures, from eagles to nature shots, please contact me and I’ll make sure he can find you.

Airborne!

Enjoy the eagles, and thank you, Danny!

(c) 2011 Robyn M Fritz