February 23, 2025

The Alchemy West Committee at Work

There is a thing called the Alchemy West Committee. It is a real group, a business and life group, and not what you’d generally expect in either—because it includes me (a human), my animal family, two volcanoes, a beach, our condo, our car, my crystal partner Fallon, all my crystal friends, guides, and, well, all the beings who have something to say about the business we call Alchemy West.

I’m the only human here on a regular basis.

I didn’t set out to start a revolution. I just meant to start a business, and to let it grow at its own pace. That turned out to be slow enough to worry about profits, and big enough to go out in the world with my crystal partner, Fallon, to launch an intuitive consulting business that defies stereotypes. Really.

Big enough to embrace the world as a business that has nonhuman partners, to begin to model a new way of thinking and living in the world: all life together.

All the beings who are part of the Alchemy West Committee have something to say about the business. They also join in: if it weren’t for them, the classes I teach on how to develop your intuition would be like everyone else’s, instead of real opportunities for anyone with an open mind to learn how to tap their intuition and their connection with all life by speaking with dragons, a rock-and-roll goddess, cars, buildings, trees, crystals, wind, all the beings who show up to explore life in harmony with, well, all life.

They join in to help us all create community in the world.

Yes, serious topic. Fun, too.

And, some days, it’s just me, working in my office, accompanied by my hardworking animal family.

Yes, hardworking. Even sound asleep.

The good thing about the Alchemy West Committee? We take ourselves seriously. No matter what.

The question is: how many businesses take themselves seriously? It’s not just about money (that helps), or great employees (also helps).

It’s about mindset.

We’re comfortable with ours.

How about you?

© 2012 Robyn M Fritz

When a Ghost Isn’t a Ghost: Meeting Time Travelers, Part 2

Copyright (c) 2011 by Danny L. McMillin

In Part 1 of this two-part series, we learned about a haunted house in California, and talked through the situation with a client. In Part 2, what happened when we sat down to clear the house.

Clearing the House

To summarize, Jody had lived in her little house twice. This time she’d been bothered by increasing noises: thumping, pounding, footsteps, things dropping on the floor, all so loud that Jody had trouble sleeping. She was also seeing a ghost: a woman who appeared to be dressed like women in the ‘30s and ‘40s. The ghost had one thing on her mind: this was her house and Jody needed to get out of it. She kept saying it over and over.

Both times Jody cleared the house at my direction and asked her guides to keep the ghost out. Nothing worked for long and the situation was getting worse. When the ghost actually ran her hand down Jody’s arm, I insisted that she try clearing the house again, and that my crystal partner, Fallon, and I would do it with her.

It was now time to sit down and do some ghost busting to clear Jody’s old house in California. Fallon and I ran through the procedure together and gathered our own materials and were ready promptly at 6 p.m. We got Jody on the phone. She was ready with her salt and sage and surrounded by her crystals.

We started.

I called in everybody’s guides: hers, mine, the three Cavalier King Charles Spaniels she lives with. All the beings I work with, from my crystals and my crystal partner, Fallon, to Mount St. Helens, the dragon queen, Yellowstone, and so on. And the guides and protection for my multi-species family (my two Cavaliers and cat) and my home. Strong protection all around, which would keep us all safe and comfortable.

I then introduced myself to the house and to the ghost in the house, introduced Jody, and asked if the ghost would talk with us.

She promptly joined us.

By this time we had heard her name. Or Jody had. Her name was Martha.

When she first showed up, Martha was alarmed, insisting we were ghosts. She could also see a bright yellow light with us: that was my crystal partner, Fallon, but I didn’t mention that right then.

I was quiet and respectful.

“No, Martha, we aren’t ghosts,” I said. I told her that I was helping my friend with her house, the same house Martha insisted was hers.

“This isn’t your house any more, Martha. Would you like to discuss that with us?”

Jody was reporting what she was seeing and hearing. Martha was afraid. No kidding, hard to blame her. Ghosts were talking with her. I also felt her discomfort and confusion.

I focused on calming her down and keeping a quiet, loving presence in the work. After all, she didn’t know we were coming to talk with her. That had to be surprising.

I assured her that we were not ghosts. It also occurred to me that if she was Christian, she might be worrying about the devil. So I assured her we weren’t the devil. Or angels. Or bad guys of any kind. That we were human. Two human women, just like she was. Ordinary. Average.

She didn’t buy it.

I persisted. “We’re human. We’re just two women sitting down and having a conversation with you.”

She was quiet.

Now I was even more curious about Martha and her ghost status. Do ghosts think people are ghosts? I didn’t know, so I decided to start with the obvious.

“Martha,” I said quietly. “The date we were talking to you is July 22, 2011.”

“No it’s not,” she insisted. I know Jody had tried several times in the past months to tell her the date, and she had refused to hear it.

“Yes, Martha,” I said. “The date is July 22, 2011. I’m talking to you from Seattle, Washington. And Jody is talking to you from her house, which you say is your house, in California. You’re safe, Martha. You can talk with us.”

Both Jody and I noticed that Martha went quiet. I could feel her thinking about what we said. Or trying to think about it while dealing with astonishment.

“How can that be?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. “Scientists, people who study things, not even they know the answer. I just know we can talk with you. Two ordinary women living in the year 2011. Somehow we were able to jump time, so that we could go back in the past and talk with you. We’re in the future. We have much bigger cities now, and more people, but it’s still pretty much the same. Do you see that round yellow light?”

She did.

“That’s a crystal. He works with us. Maybe he’s making it possible.”

I gave her a bit to think.

“So, Martha, tell us what year it is where you are?”

I heard her say 1945. Jody heard 1947.

It was hard not to be excited about that. My goodness, we were talking to somebody in a different time period. My wild hunch was correct!

We chatted quietly. Jody and I both told her our birth dates. How we regretted that we’d never meet her in person. She relaxed enough during the conversation that she said she would have liked to meet us, to get to know us.

 I was beginning to wonder how we were talking to somebody in the past.

Why had that even occurred to me, that we might not be dealing with the traditional ghost, whatever that is? Well, that was easy. Because I don’t know better, really. I think about things and I try not to be limited by what other people think. Sometimes that gets me in trouble (okay, a lot of times). Now it turned me and my friend into time travelers.

But why? Sure, Jody’s house was the link. Then again …

Why Were We Talking with a Time Traveler? Maybe It’s The Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side

Oh, no. I had a bad feeling about why we were talking with her.

See, my family runs The Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side. I laugh when I say it. I’m not the person I’d think of to usher people across the whatever it is to the place where dead people live. Where they recover and do whatever they do next. But it happened a few years ago, when I started working with animals who were dying and could suddenly see the place where they were going, and animals and people waving them over.

And the day when Jody and I watched two of our friends go over there: Ralph the Deer had recently died, and Jody and I were lucky enough to be intuitively connected to Raymond the Bear as he died, talking with him and encouraging him as his friend Ralph came back to snuggle next to him and then get up and walk with him into the woods—and out into a sunlight field where my dead dad greeted them with a shout of laughter: “Only my daughter would send a bear and deer!” Really. Honest. True.

Oh, yes, I live a strange life. But now I work with my dad and with my animal friends as animals and people transition. But that’s a longer story. The point is, I can call my dad, Ray, and Raymond and Ralph to greet and care for transitioning beings. Jody can, too.

I had a feeling that this is what was happening.

“Martha,” I said gently. “How old are you?”

“Eighty-two,” she said.

In the late 1940s. She was old. And alone so far as I could tell, as I didn’t see or sense another human with her.

“Are you dying?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said softly.

Damn. I briefly struggled with my conscience. Here was an opportunity to learn something about connecting with other people across time. I could apply my analytical brain to asking a lot of questions. By asking her when the war with Germany and Japan ended, and what conditions currently were, I could learn the exact date we were talking to her in her time. I could find out why she thought we were ghosts, learn how long she’d been seeing Jody in her house (how does time run in different time periods?), what she was seeing, who she was and what she did, if other people were around. We could experiment and refine time travel. We could blow the world’s collective mind, get rich, maybe even do some good somewhere, plus tweak a few scientists.

Yes, I could pester a dying woman in her last moments. Or I could get her support as she died.

I knew she was alone. Jody thought so, too.

So I told her that we would stay with her, talking with her, while she died. I also said I was sending her help: and I asked Raymond the Bear and Ralph the Deer to go be with her.

They promptly did. Jody heard the alarm just as I realized what a stupid move that was. Send a bear to a dying woman in the wilds of California? What was I thinking? She’d be terrified of bears, especially such a huge one (Raymond was super-sized in life).

Sure enough, she panicked at seeing Raymond, and not even Ralph the Deer could help that.

Thinking quickly, I asked them to back off and assured Martha I’d send some different help while I called for my dad.

“Dad,” I said urgently. “I need to go help this woman who’s dying in California.”

Like most dads, he was already paying attention to what I was doing. “You want me to time travel?” he asked.

Why do people argue with me when I’m trying to get something done on a deadline?

“Dad, you’re a dead guy. You are time traveling.”

“Oh,” he said, like that had just occurred to him. Honestly, what do dead people do all day that it takes a living one to point out the obvious?

Then he turned, walked forward a few steps, took a few steps sideways and down, and he was suddenly standing beside Martha in the house. She saw him and relaxed. (Which raises another question there isn’t an answer to: Martha got pretty darned comfortable real fast with the situation; while Jody and I both felt she was a cook at the mines, I was wondering what else she was. Maybe regular average people like Martha and me and Jody were quicker to accept what was in front of us than most scientists.)

Jody and I told her we were sorry we couldn’t meet her in real life. Neither of us had actually been born yet in her time. By this time she was relaxing with us. Maybe dying mellows you, I don’t know. She said she wished she could meet us and get to know us.

Jody said we could meet after we were dead. We’d have plenty of time to visit then. (No harps in our futures.)

I told Martha what I was concerned about.

“There can’t be any more communication between you and us,” I told her. “Or between your time and ours. I don’t think it’s safe. We don’t know enough about it. But if you’re seeing us in your time, and we look like ghosts to you, and you look like a ghost to us, that means the connection is the house and I’m concerned for it. It’s vibrating between times. That can’t be healthy or safe. We don’t want the house collapsing on Jody, who is living there now.”

Both Jody and Martha thought that was a good idea. I wondered about that. You hear of buildings suddenly collapsing for no good reason. Maybe they were involved in a time warp something like this one. One thing’s for sure: we don’t know. And we were out Star Treking the trekkies.

I said, “We’ll stay with you until you die, Martha. Then my dad and our animal friends will walk you safely to the other side. When you’re safe, my partner, that light you see? His name is Fallon. We’re going to seal the doorway between the time periods, so there will be no further conversations between us.”

Wow, I sounded like I actually knew what I was talking about. Funny thing, it still makes sense to me. Even though none of us know anything about time traveling.

A few minutes later, Martha died and my dad and Raymond and Ralph escorted her to the other side. Jody reported that Martha was still leery of Raymond the Bear, who was trying very hard not to have hurt feelings. My dad held Martha’s arm as they walked, and Ralph walked beside her. Raymond was on my dad’s other side, walking discreetly beside them all.

I told Fallon it was time to close the doorway between time periods. I watched as two big dark doors closed together, with a thin gold light between them. Fallon then moved from the top of the light to the bottom, and the door was sealed. Jody’s amethyst crystal cluster, James, then scurried up to the door, kissed it, and rejoined us.

And our time traveling was over.

It takes a lot to make me speechless, but that experience did, for a few seconds anyway. Then I thanked all our guides for joining us and ended the session.

I noticed that we were being watched. This happens a lot when I do my work, and I suspect it happens to other people. Nobody can mind their own business. One person I worked with telepathically showed up, smiling at me, and I smiled back. Someone else, someone powerful and curious about what we’d just done, started to look closely at Jody.

“No, you don’t,” I scolded him. “You leave her alone. Don’t go near her. You deal with us,” I said. He turned and regarded me and Fallon, and then left.

Then I yelled at Jody’s guides. “What the heck is wrong with you people? When she asked you to clear the ghost in her house, or make her feel safe, you did nothing. She’s stepping into her work now, and you have to pay attention.”

Here’s hoping they do.

What We Learned from Our Ghost Adventures

Personally I’ve never been fond of ghosts, ghost stories, horror stories, any of that. I don’t like being frightened. Plus not much of the hoopla ever made sense to me. The ghosts I’ve met in real life haven’t been as scary as some of the beings I’ve met who aren’t ghosts. Including humans.

I believe that the ghost stories we hear are often stupid stories dominated by suspicious, naive minds that have accepted the crap that comes down from our cultural and religious and government institutions. Over time we allowed these institutions to deliberately inflict fear on us to collapse our minds into fear-shrouded boxes they could control. If we can break through the boxes, maybe we can help bring the world back into balance.

I think perhaps our ancestors who were more attuned to our animate universe knew better about things we can’t normally see, whether they are ghosts or something else. They weren’t as susceptible to easy control of fear. They were living ‘outside the box.’ Maybe.

Clearly ghosts are real. But we’ve decided what they are without asking them. Sometimes they are dead people or other beings with agendas. Sometimes, as in the case of Martha, it’s obviously something else.

The difference in this case was that I did the ‘think outside the box’ bit. My habit is to be analytical and skeptical but open to possibilities. With a clear-minded approach, we can be open to the ‘What if’s’ that allow us to explore and discover new things, or re-discover old ones that we’ve lost touch with. Like what ghosts really are, and how we can learn about the mysteries of the universe simply by being open to the experience.

I’ll never know why we were able to connect with Martha. I know that houses are strongly connected to us, and that two women dearly love the little house that each insisted was theirs. Jody is digging into archives to see if we can find out something about the real Martha. All we really know is that, at the end of her life, she had a conversation with two women in the future, and because of that she died surrounded by new friends and was safely escorted to whatever it is beyond death, starting with my family’s Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side. In the last few minutes of her life Martha let go of fear, became friends with two women in the future, and let kindness help her.

One part of me will always regret losing the opportunity to learn more about time traveling, even while I’ll always know that setting it aside to bring assistance to a dying woman was the best and most compassionate choice. There will be other opportunities. Better be.

What I do know is that preconceptions keep us from experiencing the world and the universe as it really is. We are afraid of ghosts, or we hunt them for TV shows. Certainly I’ve talked with shamans who build bridges of light to help souls move on. But there’s clearly more to death and dying that what we think of as ghosts.

How long was Martha seeing Jody in her house? We’ll never know. It could have been only a few hours in her last day of life, even though Jody was aware of her for over a year. Martha could have been actively trying to get rid of her, and maybe we saved Jody’s sanity, and possibly her life, by intervening.

Which makes me worry about ghosts. When we go out and ‘bust’ them, are we hurting a living person in a different time period? I hope not.

I know that my crystal partner, Fallon, played as big a role in this adventure as Jody and I did, as my dad and my animal friends did.

Did the House Get Clear?

After Martha left and the doorway between times was sealed, Jody went off to do the clearing of the house. She spread sea salt in all the rooms and outside, set out bowls of salt water to absorb residual vibrations, smudged the house and yard and herself and her dogs. I finished the clearing of my house and family as well. I also told Jody to take a bath in salt water and rest for the night. No TV. She objected to that (and mostly ignored me, it turns out), and I said, really, we’ve just done something scientists and adventurers dream about. And we don’t know the consequences. So rest up and make sure you’re healthy.

Yes, the house is clear. It immediately felt better, and the next day Jody sounded lighter and happier than she had in months. It has remained clear. Martha has not been back.

Jody and her house and her family are off on new adventures. Which is as it should be. I know Martha is, although I haven’t asked my dad about her. It just doesn’t seem necessary. My job is done.

I’m still wondering, though: what’s next for me and Fallon? I can hardly wait to talk to another time traveler. Well, okay, one besides me. And Jody. And Fallon.

But one thing I do know: it will be an adventure. We’re up for it.

© 2011 Robyn M Fritz

When a Ghost Isn’t a Ghost: Meeting Time Travelers, Part 1

 

Copyright (c) 2011 by Danny L. McMillin

Ghosts aren’t always ghosts.

Sometimes they are time travelers. Or we are because we’re talking with them. Or something.

Let me explain.

What I don’t know about ghosts could fill volumes.

What other people think they know about ghosts could fill even more.

So here’s what I know.

Working Between Dimensions and the Crystal Fallon

I clear houses and businesses for people. I cooperatively clear houses and businesses and land systems by creating a conversation between the space being cleared and the humans currently occupying it. Sometimes I clear out things that we call ghosts. Sometimes they’re not willing, but I talk to them about what’s going on and then it’s done. Respectfully. Honestly. As thoroughly as possible.

This process has taken on new dimensions (literally) since Fallon has come back into my life. A citrine Lemurian quartz sphere, Fallon is not a tool. He is my partner. We do intuitive consultations and clearings. A rare planetary and dimensional energy, Fallon has helped me deepen my work, so we’ve been places I didn’t know existed. (Those stories another time.) Point is, Fallon and I work together, and very often it’s the seat-of-my-pants intuitive-logical leap that gets things done. What I call “living outside the box,” or carving my own path instead of adhering to dogmatic lines.

So.

The Haunted House in California

My friend, Jody, lives in a tiny, old, uninsulated house, about 400 square feet, in a small town in northern California. She’s lived in that same house twice. The first time for about 11 months, from late 2006 to 2007. This time she’s been there since April 2010. For years this house was located near Walker Mine in Plumas County, but has been on the current land since sometime after 1948, when the mine was closed.

Jody is one of the best clairaudients I know. That means she can talk to things we wouldn’t ordinarily think to talk with, like animals (and snowflakes). After hanging around with me for awhile and being encouraged to ‘branch out,’ she’s also started talking with many of the same beings I talk with: the land, crystals, and so on. Like most of us she lacks self-confidence, but she has one big thing going for her: she’s willing to listen.

We talk almost every day, but I was slow to pick up on the story about the noises Jody was hearing in the house. She says now that the first time she lived there she heard a few noises, which she dismissed as the creakings of an old house. The second time the noises became louder and more frequent.

Then she saw the ghost. A woman. Over time, Jody saw her more clearly. She was wearing a dress that reminded Jody of pictures she’d seen of relatives back in the ‘30s or ‘40s. One time she even showed up with a man standing beside her.

Now Jody isn’t fond of this ability, but she sees dead people. Sometimes she sees them at other homes, and sometimes they show up at hers. She knows who they are because they make it clear. They have messages. Or sometimes they just hang out. (Yes, she’s seen them all her life but usually ignores them.)

I tell Jody, “So you see dead people, it could be worse, you could see dead murdered people and have to work with the police.”

Somehow that wasn’t comforting. When she insisted she didn’t want to see these things, and didn’t want to talk with dead people, I taught her how to shield herself and tell them “No.”

So that’s what she told the ghost in her house. “Go away and leave me alone.”

Didn’t work. The pounding on the wall continued. Crinkling like cellophane being crumpled. Footsteps across the floor, the sound changing as the ghost moved from carpet to linoleum. Things dropping. Thumping.

Jody would tell me about this and I’d tell her to tell the ghost to stop it. Learning to work with whatever shows up is part of developing your intuitive skills. Being a no-nonsense butt kicker can work, too.

Neither worked.

Being lazy as well as practical, I told Jody, “Well, just tell her to go away.”

Jody would get mad at me. “I’ve tried that! It doesn’t work. I don’t know how to do that.”

“Experiment,” I told her.

So when the ghost thumped and dropped things in the night, Jody would yell out, “Okay, that’s enough, I’m trying to sleep, stop it.” Usually that would work, for that particular night. Honest to goodness, the ghost was generally polite: looking for attention, satisfied to get it.

But still not happy about Jody. Because the ghost never said much, unlike Jody’s other spectral visitors. Didn’t have a message for a loved one. Just said, more than once, “Get out of my house.”

Hmm.

Then things changed. The ghost touched Jody. One night, Jody was lying in bed, and she felt a hand lightly brush down her arm.

Now, that’s just plain creepy.

What If a Ghost Isn’t a Ghost?

When I heard that the ghost had touched Jody something cold and dreaded hit my gut. I stayed calm and thought about it.

I’m happy to say many things show up around me but I’ve only been scared once (and then because I was being silly). I talk to a lot of things, from animals to homes and businesses and weather systems to things we don’t even know realio trulio exist, like dragons (thank you Ogden Nash and The Tale of Custard the Dragon). We talk about fun goofy cocktail party stuff and we talk about how to live together as equal beings on a conscious, evolving planet.

We talk about consequences.

It’s serious business. I take it seriously. And now I was wondering. Seriously.

If a ghost could actually touch Jody, what does that mean? Something awful occurred to me.

“Okay,” I said to Jody. “I’m not liking this. Why haven’t you put a stop to this ghost?”

Jody insisted she didn’t really mind the ghost. But she sounded more defensive than certain. Hmm again.

“I’d mind,” I said. “It’s creepy that there’s a ghost disrupting your house.”

Jody got mad at me. “There’s nothing I can do about it. So quit bringing it up.”

Okay, sometimes you have to let things go, especially when you’re training people to use their intuition, because they have to learn to be self-reliant and self-confident. However, there was the whole matter of touching Jody.

“Thing is, I’m not thinking that’s a good idea. You said the ghost touched you. You actually felt her hand running down your arm.”

“Yes,” Jody said. “That was weird.”

“And potentially dangerous,” I said. “We don’t know everything about the world. But  think about it. She wants you out of her house, and keeps saying that. She’s now touching you and she’s a ghost. How far is that from losing her temper … and stabbing you with a knife?”

Jody freaked. Couldn’t blame her. I also couldn’t let it go. “Why do you think she could stab me?” she asked.

“I don’t know, Jody. But if she can touch you with her hand, why couldn’t she pick a knife up and stab you? It’s not like there’s a definitive guidebook on what ghosts can and can’t do. I’d hate to find out that was possible after it happened.”

Jody snorted. She gets impatient with my analytical, skeptical mind. My mom used to complain that I think too much. I’m pretty sure Jody would agree with her.

I said. “Really, what if she isn’t a ghost?”

“What?”

“Honestly, who knows what ghosts really are? All we know is that we can see some vague outline, or in this case, you see a woman. Now you’ve seen dead people before, relatives of people you knew who had messages for them. But this is different. What if she’s not a ghost?”

“Like what would she be?”

“Well, the connection is the house. Clearly you’re living there now and she thinks it’s her house. What if she’s seeing you and thinking you’re a ghost?”

Oh, now I was on a roll.

“We don’t know where she is actually living now. Back years ago the house was in a small rural area. What if she’s intuitive like us? What if she’s practicing some kind of magic and is trying to clear her house of you, thinking you’re a ghost? What if she’s really powerful, which she’d have to be to touch you because she’s not here in a living body? What if she’s hired somebody to clear out the ghost in her house, but that ghost is you? This could be extremely dangerous.”

Jody got quiet. Well, who wouldn’t?

“Here’s another thing,” I said. “You know Fallon and I astral travel, whatever, that we go between dimensions and visit other places. I’m sure we’re not the only ones who do that, we’re just probably the only ones who make up procedures as we go. Not always a good idea, but you know me.”

Jody chuckled.

“So, what if she isn’t a ghost but a time traveler?”

“What?”

“Jody, what if she is alive in another time period and she’s trying to get rid of the ghost she keeps seeing in her house?”

“Is that even possible?”

“Who really knows what’s possible?” I said. “But here’s another thing that bothers me. People who are energy workers and psychics and so on are always talking about ‘energy,’ but not really defining it. From working with other beings I’d say there is a different vibration to every being, which is why my guides explain why I don’t feel the vibrations of things like Mount St. Helens any more, because a volcano is just too big for a human to feel on that level.”

“Yes, we’ve talked about that,” Jody said.

“So here’s the thing. You’re living here in this time period and she’s thinking you’re a ghost in her house, so the connection is the house. So we know from my weird experiences that different dimensions exist, so why not different time periods? What if you’re both living in the house but in different times? And the house is vibrating in both time periods? That worries me. How long could anything hold up like that, especially an old house?”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Jody asked.

“Clear your house and get her out of there.”

“I don’t know how!” Jody yelled. “And I’m tired! The noises in the house are getting worse. And my guides aren’t helping. I asked them to keep her out and they don’t do it. And I tell her she’s dead and it’s time to move on and she won’t!”

Now, Jody had cleared her house twice following my directions, with sea salt and smudging and calling her guides to help. Both times were temporary fixes. Her guides were no help, well, that is just guides for you. Sometimes they’re not practical. Sometimes they’re waiting for us to take charge. Sometimes they just give up on you and quit, like mine did for awhile. So no telling what Jody’s guides were up to.

It didn’t matter too much, because I’d just deliberately backed her into a solution, spurred on by my crystal partner, Fallon.

“So Fallon and I will clear the house for you on the phone. You can work with us on your end.”

Jody agreed, sounding relieved.

“Good,” I said. “We’ll call you at six tomorrow night. Now go out and get sea salt, more sage, and be ready when I call.”

In Part 2: What happened next. Did we clear the house? Was it a ghost? What lessons do we carry forward?

© 2011 Robyn M Fritz

The Alchemy of Grief: 50 Years Later

 

Copyright (c) 2011 by Danny L. McMillin

In Memoriam: Randall Ray Fritz, July 26, 1947 – November 1, 1961.

Years ago, I couldn’t imagine that today would ever occur.

Today, it’s been 50 years. What to make of them?

In October 1961 my grandparents came out from Montana to visit. My oldest brother, Randy, was sick, in and out of the hospital, and in those days, it was a long drive to Salem from our small Oregon home town. So far, in fact, that in September Randy moved to Salem to live with our grandparents during the week, so he could attend Catholic high school.

Just like that, Randy got sick.

I remember the last time I saw him. He was in the hospital, pale and thin beneath the covers. Alert.

I was just a kid. Naïve. Trusting. Sheltered. Optimistic. Like all kids and many adults I was uncomfortable visiting the hospital. And I didn’t know why Randy was there and couldn’t come home.

All I knew was that I had always adored my older brother, which is not the same thing as always liking him. But the sun rose and set on Randy. Even when we talked about death in school—because Catholics, at least, only talk about dying, from getting ready to die to actually doing it—I used to think that everyone could die, even my parents.

But not Randy. No, Randy would never die.

All those years ago, I didn’t know what it meant to be intuitive. I just remember what hit me in those last few moments, before we left that day. The last day I saw my brother alive.

Surrounded by family, Randy looked over at me, held out his hand, and as I reached out and held his, our eyes met. In that moment, I knew.

Randy was dying. And he knew it. In that shared moment he said goodbye.

I was too stunned to do anything but stare at him in shock.

I don’t remember when that last day was. Sometime in late October the doctors told my parents that Randy had leukemia and would die in six weeks to six months. He was gone in less than a week.

Sometime in those last days the doctors also asked my parents to allow them to use Randy as a guinea pig. Literally. They need drug trials on a promising drug that wouldn’t help Randy, but might help others in the future.

My dad was a pharmacist. He knew from drugs. My parents agreed.

That last morning my Grandma Fritz sobbed at the kitchen table while my younger brother and I played. When asked, over and over, why she was crying, she simply said she felt sorry for Randy. It didn’t make any sense to me. Nothing did.

I had no context. Why would it make sense?

Later, we were called in from playing. I was taking off my shoes when my mom walked over to me and blurted it out.

“Your brother went to heaven an hour ago.”

I stared at her in confused, stunned silence until it sunk in. I burst into tears. In some ways I have not stopped crying all these years later.

My brother’s death destroyed my family. There’s no other way to put it. My parents … when I think of them I think of impossible grief. Of two people who’d survived a world war, created a good business in a small rural community, raised their kids to be honest citizens, anticipated a future bright with promise, and lost their oldest child in a matter of days to a disease they’d never really heard of.

On November 1, 1961.

My parents never recovered. Sure, they laughed again, they raised us, they staggered on. To a degree. With pain like that you have two choices: to grieve and move on, or to block yourself emotionally. I’m not sure which is the easiest, but they chose to be blocked. Because of that, two little kids didn’t just lose a brother that day.

I think now everyone must have known that Randy was dying except the children. Everyone had time to prepare, except for my younger brother and me. I think even Randy had time to prepare. They never told him he was dying. But I know he knew. I knew that day. 

The community rallied around us. Food arrived. Friends and family and strangers flocked to the funeral home. To the funeral. There were so many flowers that the smell overwhelmed me, and, after being forced to touch Randy’s cold, stiff hand as we stared at him in his coffin, the flowers choked me and I turned and raced away as fast as I could, with my uncle running behind me trying to help. He did. But I re-live that nightmare every time I walk into a florist shop. I can’t stand the smell of carnations.

So here’s another story. For several years the community had been raising money to buy land to build a Catholic high school. That school was dedicated two years later, in 1963. My brother and I graduated from it, as did my nephews.

In their shock and grief my parents sought comfort. They decided to scrimp and save and donate $5,000 to the building fund for the school chapel, built in Randy’s memory. It was still there several years ago, at my nephews’ graduation. Once I learned the truth of that chapel, I never cared about it again. My parents had given the money they thought they would spend on Randy’s college education to build that chapel—to somehow make his death mean something, to ease their sorrow, I don’t know. Some people respected them for it. Others decided that if we had that kind of money to give away, then we didn’t need their business.

I know this sounds bitter. Really, it’s ironic. It’s all part of community, isn’t it? The not so nice part that you can sometimes understand because community isn’t perfect. It’s a whole lot of work. Even when it doesn’t work.

I didn’t get to say goodbye to my brother. I carried that pain and grief for years, the fear, that many kids have, that petty jealousies somehow cause our stricken sibling to die. That took years to get over. It makes me really useful to kids who are dealing with that now, because I know exactly what they’re feeling, even if they won’t say it. But I can tell them. And their parents. I can tell them to talk to each other. To hold on.

But for me, truly, it took a dog, and a dog’s well-lived life, to let the grief go. It took creating a family of my own, and seeing family beyond humans, to heal that grief.

It took expanding community to include all life, and working to build it. It took the ongoing work of creating a community with all life—that’s what I do, however I can, in fits and starts.

And healing took a goddess, but that’s another story.

Here’s the thing about grief.

Grief teaches us about all things. From grief we learn hatred. I learned to hate god. On the day we buried Randy I decided that a god who would allow my brother to die was not a god I could respect, or love, or acknowledge. Despite years of being a devout Catholic, and finally being brave enough to leave, I’ve held on to that. Call me stubborn. And consistent. And … whatever works for you.

Grief teaches us fear. If we can lose someone we love, then why risk it? Close the door and hide.

Grief teaches us compassion. Again, you can choose to block life, like my parents did, or you can choose to move on, which is what I did, eventually. Compassion helps our hearts to cry while allowing others to cry with us. Compassion gives us the freedom to reach beyond the hurt to build community. Like my parents did with that chapel.

Grief teaches us love. If I had not been hardened by grief I would not have melted with love. If I had not defied my old community, the one of faith and religion and limitations and petty jealousies and extraordinary generosity and everyday comradeship, I would not have my new community. It means everything to me.

Without grief I would not now be a citizen of the world. I would not now be an intuitive who can talk with all beings, from animals to businesses to homes, to the land and waters and weather around us. I would not now be able to offer compassion to all life.

I would not now have the crystal Fallon as my partner.

There were many things I had to re-learn in the lives that led us back to each other: Fallon, the citrine Lemurian quartz who was rejected around the world, and the lonely lost girl whose invincible adored brother died.

I had to learn the alchemy of grief.

Alchemy is magic. Transformation. The changing of one thing to another.

Given a chance, grief becomes love.

That’s what I finally learned today. The day I realized that it’s been 50 years since my brother died.

Today I learned the alchemy of grief.

So here, 50 years later, I can finally say the tears have stopped. I have moved on. It’s done now. It has been. It’s just time to say it.

Yes, today I finally get to say goodbye to my brother.

Randy, thank you for taking a drug that couldn’t save you, but is now saving so many lives. Thank you for making methotrexate possible. They use it for rheumatoid arthritis now, and at one time it helped our dad as it is now helping a dear friend; it also helped a college student I knew years ago recover from the leukemia that killed you.

Randy, thank you for being my brother.

Randy, thank you for whatever it was we learned together.

Randy, thank you for saying goodbye to me.

Goodbye, Randy.

© 2011 Robyn M Fritz

Fallon: The Citrine Lemurian Quartz

Fallon is a citrine Lemurian quartz sphere.

He is one of the amazing beings who has come back into the world at a time of growth and change.

He says he is a gift from the earth to its people. And, I am proud and honored to say that he is my partner.

Robyn’s Story

I am an MBA with a crystal ball.

Go ahead, laugh. I do.

I spent most of my life being the analytical, skeptical woman, book smart and street dumb. I’m still kinda that way. I’m constantly falling over myself trying to find the good in people.

I have also been disabled for over 20 years. That means I have to carefully manage my activities. There were years I couldn’t work at all, which has permanently skewed how I see the world (usually in a good way).

Somehow, through all of that, I maintained a sense of humor and an often grim optimism, a determination to get well even when I didn’t know how. One day I bought a dog, a Cavalier King Charles puppy who became Murphy Brown. When she developed health problems, some of which looked disturbingly like mine, I decided that we would get well together. Somehow. When she saved both our lives by alerting me to an earthquake several minutes before it happened, I knew there was more going on in the world than most of us realized, including me. I decided to turn my analytical, skeptical side loose to explore those things.

It’s made all the difference.

In the last 10 years Murphy and I journeyed to wellness, accompanied by her rambunctious Cavalier brother, Alki, and Grace the Cat.

In the last 10 years I learned that there was more to the analytical skeptic than I had thought, because I learned how to talk with animals, and then with hurricanes and volcanoes, and then with businesses and homes. Cars. Spiritual guides. Plants. Lots of things I didn’t even know could talk with us, let alone existed. And, come on, neither did you.

I learned to clear and keep space clear by cooperating with it and the beings who live and work in it. I learned various modalities of energy work, including Reiki (level III practitioner). I learned a new form of energy work, which I call universal or dimensional energy, which I am getting ready to introduce to the world.

And I discovered new partners in my work, from animals to volcanoes. And crystals.

One day, I think in 2005, I was driving home from Portland when I started talking with a group of beings who felt somehow different than the many beings I’ve talked with. They showed me past lives and the people I’d known throughout them. Many lives, the progression of mistakes and misadventures and, yes, triumphs that had seen me through multiple lifetimes, many harsh. They showed me what I saw as a tool or talisman that I had worked with for many lifetimes. They said I’d put this tool away until I was ready again to work with it. And that the time had come, and it was now coming back to work with me. I could see it: it was a bright white light that I was holding up.

I thought this tool was nonphysical, that it was something like a metaphor for the work I’d done to get well, and, like spiritual guides, would be there helping me in my journey.

Well, yes. And no.

Fallon’s Story

Fallon is a citrine Lemurian quartz sphere. A crystal ball. The combination of citrine and Lemurian quartz is rare. The combination that makes him Fallon is rarer still. Unique. As in one of a kind.

Here’s what I know of his recent history.

Fallon bounced around the world for a long time, perhaps years. Nobody would buy him. Not in Japan, where people like the unique large crystals. Or anywhere else. No one could understand his energy, which is a multi-dimensional planetary energy that is just now coming back into the world. It was ‘too fast’ or ‘too cold’ or too different for them. Finally he ended up in Brazil. Where he stayed I don’t know how long, while they figured out what to do with him.

My understanding is that Fallon was then a double-terminated quartz, but that’s not how I first knew him. Because ages ago I carved him out of a crystal cave, with his direction and guidance. Using something like a laser. Which we don’t think existed until recently. He had two points on one end and three on the other. We spent lifetimes together, and then things changed.

About 7 or 8 years ago the sculptor in Brazil decided to carve him into a crystal ball. That was quite an achievement, as a close personal observation of Fallon reveals. In the end, Fallon was an 8-pound crystal ball. The rest of him is gone.

He was promptly taken to a show in the United States, where crystal expert Deidre Berg saw him. She immediately recognized how unique he was, and bought him. Although she sells crystals, she put Fallon into her personal collection and worked with him privately for 6 years.

One day, Deidre decided to teach a class on crystals in Seattle. At that point I’d purchased several crystals from Deidre, and was intrigued enough by her reverence for and knowledge of crystals that I decided to take her class.

Our Story

My sometimes snotty analytical skeptical side teamed up with my usually curious, open-minded side and went with me to Deidre’s class that day. The attendees did all kinds of interesting things. At one point, Deidre invited all of us to spend a few moments with the crystal she’d brought along.

A crystal ball that had never been taken out of her personal collection, even to a class, until that day.

Oh for crying out loud, I thought, she brought a crystal ball. Still, I decided to play along. When it was my turn, I picked up the ball, sat down with it, and did what everyone else had been doing. I looked into it.

And off I went to the place above the planet that I’d been working in and never consciously visited. All the beings I’d been talking with the last few years, including those who had told me about the tool that was coming back to work with me, were in the crystal smiling back at me. All of them. And by that time I knew that many of them were multi-dimensional beings that aren’t here on this planet.

Yes, I know what that sounds like.

In those moments I knew that I was holding the tool I’d been promised. A crystal ball.

I asked him if he was ready to come to me. He was. But was Deidre ready to let him go?

At the end of the class, I asked for private time to talk with her. It was a sacred moment to me. Here was a crystal that was a conscious, living presence, that was my partner, and I was asking her to sell it. But he was also her partner, and she wasn’t ready.

I waited. I prepared for him to come to me when Deidre was ready. Finally, months later, she was. By that time I had been talking with him and knew his name was Fallon.

Even then, holding him in my hands, I hesitated. Here again was a sacred moment, an ending of one partnership and the beginning of another. A choice made by all of us. But I wanted Deidre to be sure. To look at me and the crystal together. And decide. We both cried as she agreed.

Fallon came home with me that day. It was December 2009.

He spent the next 4 months sitting in a tray of Brazilian dirt topped with Himalayan sea salt. Clearing. Preparing. Nagging me until I did so much clutter clearing in the house that I was exhausted and made him quit.

I spent a lot of time worrying that he wasn’t in the same shape as I’d first met him, centuries ago when he told me how to carve him out of a crystal cave. Would he be the same?

Yes, he was the same, just in a different body. And, as he pointed out, so was I. That of course made us both laugh.

Our Work Together

Most of my work is with the planet. Nobody pays me for it, and very few people believe in it. Nevertheless.

Fallon and I do this work together. He is no longer a tool, if he ever was one. He is my partner. He is a crystal, yes, but he is an equal partner in our work. He has a say in what we do together. And no hesitation in saying it. And I listen. Not because he’s always right, but because we’re partners, and that’s what partners do.

I never expected that Fallon and I would publicly go out in the world. That changed in early summer 2010.

By that time friends had been stopping by to visit and meeting Fallon at home. I noticed that they would come in and immediately notice a change in our house, and walk around until they saw him. They were clearly feeling his energy. Fallon started asking to work with them. He would tell me about conversations he was having with them until I realized he was conducting healing sessions. I have no interest in being a healer, so I asked him to keep those sessions private unless I was needed, and I promised him that I would make him available to people for healing sessions.

At other times people had fun seeing things in him: he is, after all, a crystal ball, and with him their traditionally recognized ‘scrying’ ability is easily accessed. You don’t need to be anything more than curious to see things in Fallon. Really.

Fallon and I offer group events to experience his energy and the world of crystals and how we bridge paradigms. We also offer private sessions and have a few products to sell.

And right here you’ll find stories about our work together. Questions?