If I ever doubted the need for firm energetic boundaries, the last month would have clinched it. I watched clients deal with trauma, I developed shingles, and on Jan. 8 my dog Alki and I were mauled by a neighbor’s loose dog and severely injured.
I’ll tell you about my inspiring, and harrowing, month, but first, how are your energetic boundaries?
Checking Our Energetic Boundaries
We all experience times when our boundaries are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Here are clues to whether yours need attention:
- You feel overwhelmed in public, oversensitive, irritated, or just tired.
- You have low self-esteem or self-worth.
- Clients and family drain you or make you doubt yourself.
- You feel you do not deserve prosperity or abundance.
- You give everything away: your energy, spirit, time, money.
- You never put yourself first.
If you can relate to this, sign up for my free newsletter or check my website for our upcoming workshop on energetic boundaries.
In December Fallon and I used intense space clearing and personal energy work to help clients and their homes and businesses deal with abuse at the same time as I faced it myself. Then, within two weeks, I suffered stress-induced shingles and my Cavalier King Charles Spaniel boy, Alki, and I were mauled by the neighbor’s loose Kerry blue terrier. I have been in scary situations before, but I’ve never been more terrified than I was that night, when I knew I was fighting for Alki’s life, and my own, and that we were not coming out of it intact.
Yes, life throws you curve balls: so how do you catch them?
Stress and Energetic Boundaries
We are so used to stress in our busy lives that we tend to think of it as an emotional reaction to daily demands at work and home, something we just live with. But stress has physical and psychic consequences that can damage our lives for years if we don’t properly handle them. As more of us experience the expansion of our intuitive abilities, the effects of stress reverberate in our bodies, souls, psychic lives, and home and business spaces. We deal with that, and become our best selves, when we create firm boundaries—when we learn to say “no” and how to reinforce that “no” energetically.
In the last month I watched beautiful, suffering clients stand up and said “no” to old forces that both disrupted and impaired their lives. Two things happened: they courageously, firmly, and gracefully claimed their unique power and healthy, beautiful futures for themselves and their spaces, and they learned to develop and maintain strong physical, emotional, and spiritual energetic boundaries. What a new year these brave, loving people are greeting!
But there’s more.
I know about boundaries, I teach them—very few intuitives actually understand, let alone teach, boundaries—and yet on Dec. 26 I woke up with stress-induced shingles. Yes, crap happens, I’m sorry to say, but I knew exactly what had happened, so once the medical solutions were in place, I re-examined my boundaries.
That led me to claim a love that put my integrity and choice first. It’s deeper, richer, better than I could have imagined just days earlier. However, it excludes things I thought were necessary, firmly ending one long chapter in my life. Just like my clients, I said “no” to energetic violations, because our deep, loving hearts need effective boundaries to get along, and ahead, in life.
On Jan. 8 those boundaries were challenged again as I fought to save Alki’s life, and my own, during a vicious attack from a loose dog intent on killing both of us.
Alki and I were both severely injured, but I am grateful to say that we survived, and that many wonderful people, including strangers, have stepped in to help us, as I cannot drive for a long time—besides bruises and a crushing injury to my leg that bled for 12 days and is still swollen and deeply bruised, I have a torn thumb ligament, my hand is splinted for at least a month, and even if I do not need surgery, I will have long weeks of recovery and therapy ahead of me.
Wonderful people, some strangers, some people I am only beginning to know, have provided both physical support (transportation, errands, computer advice, essential oils, among others) and emotional support, which I badly needed. As many know, I have been handicapped for more than 25 years, and, just as I was finally thriving, I am now facing a long recovery.
Worse, we learned that Alki’s life has changed completely. He turned 12 on Christmas Day (82 in human years), is mostly deaf, and had mild heart disease. The morning after the attack (and my urgent, middle-of-the-night trip to Swedish ER in Seattle) his vet discovered puncture wounds inside his lip, a loose tooth, and physical trauma from getting pounded and torn at by a dog twice his size (and vicious). When his soreness worsened I had him X-rayed: we learned that he has mild to moderate spondylosis from his neck to his pelvis, swelling from trauma has made him stiff all over, and he still cannot raise his tail.
But it gets worse, much worse: his mild heart disease has suddenly escalated. On Jan. 20 an ultrasound done by his cardiologist confirmed a Grade 4/6 mitral valve and Grade 3/6 tricuspid valve disease, up from a soft Grade 2/6 and 0/6: overnight, his heart disease escalated into a severe, disabling condition that will shorten his life and forever rules out his beloved long walks, even as he is too traumatized to even want to go outside, and too battered to move comfortably.
I am devastated: my family has been robbed of time together, plus whatever time we have is compromised by Alki’s severe disability.
Making Energetic Boundary Choices
Here are the energetic boundary choices I had: to ignore my neighbor’s responsibility, essentially forgive and move on, or take action.
While I refuse to linger in bitterness and resentment (although I recommend setting a buzzer for 20 minutes and screaming, yelling, crying, whatever you need to get it out, which relieves stress and strengthens your boundaries), I am figuring out how to go to Seattle City Council and advocate for a change in the city’s dog laws so non-aggressive dogs and their loving families don’t need to arm themselves to safely navigate their neighborhoods. That includes figuring out how we can all live together in a city where ER visits for dog bites happen on a daily basis (as it now does), how to get people to adequately train their dogs, how to more easily remove aggressive dogs (and breeds) from the city, and how to properly support the victims of crime instead of the aggressors. We need calm, compassionate dialogue and real answers: status quo is not working. In over 15 years with dogs on Alki Beach in West Seattle my dogs have been attacked 3 times, other neighborhood dogs have been attacked, and it seems that the majority of dogs on the street represent breeds with known aggression problems and clueless owners.
In the meantime, life goes on. We are going to make it magnificent at our house while I continue to work with families as an intuitive, animal communicator, and articulate advocate on what it means to live the human-animal bond. No matter what. We are grateful to simply be here, and to know we have community.
That is the mindset that supports energetic boundaries. Practical applications, of course, include forgiveness while demanding (and getting) responsibility from the aggressors, effective energetic work, calmness, recovery time, and humor.
Now to those energetic boundaries.
We all experience times when our energetic boundaries are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Don’t delay learning how to manage them for yourself (they are different for each of us just as our intuitive abilities are different). Our boundaries always need attention. Stay vigilant, because we all lead busy lives, and it’s easy to get blind-sided. I’m living proof of getting knocked off track, and of reclaiming my life and my family’s.
Ready to shore up your energetic boundaries?
In the weeks ahead Fallon and I will be offering a workshop on energetic boundaries. Watch my website and email for the notice, and for other upcoming events, including workshops on intuitive communications, space clearing, mediumship, and animal communication.
Cheers to a new year, and firm energetic boundaries!
© 2014 Robyn M Fritz