How can we let go of our dead?
We were talking about this on my radio show, Bridging the Paradigms on NewsfortheSoul.com on Jan. 18, 2016.
People were saying that they just can’t say goodbye and let go of their deceased loved ones, they can’t move on without them.
Let me tell you why we need to. First, let’s preface that with a beautiful quote pulled from a Daily Beast article by Pete Dexter and Jeff Nale (1/29/16) on the coming death of Dexter’s dog: “Dr. Parent does not like what he is feeling, and all there is to say about the next 10 minutes—if there is something more to this story than the end of a dog—it is that what you do when there’s nothing you can do can matter for a long time.” (emphasis mine)
Such beautiful writing, and so true! “What you do when there’s nothing you can do can matter for a long time.”
What you do when a loved one dies matters for a very long time. Here’s why: We are all souls, yes, souls who have chosen to experience life in organic bodies that will eventually break down and die. We are programmed to survive, so we naturally resist dying. Worse, our culture makes it harder because it refuses to acknowledge death. Worse yet, when we love someone, human or animal, we don’t want them to die. We came together to live, not die, and saying goodbye and letting go—those aren’t things we want to think about or live through.
See that quote above? When someone dies, what we do next matters very much. And what matters is that both sides let go.
The Gray Zone and Connecting Again
Here’s why. Every dead person I’ve ever talked with says they wake up in a different place unlike anything they ever saw when they were alive, and far different from the last thing they remember seeing. It often appears as a gray or hazy place, like fog, which is why I call it the Gray Zone.
Now, don’t be afraid of the Gray Zone. It’s not tied to any religion or culture. The Gray Zone is simply the place where the dead literally wake up dead and hang out in until they choose to move on to what I call their proper afterlife. It’s in the Gray Zone that the dead gradually let go of the heavier energies that are part of being in a body. The faster they let go of the energies, the faster they move on to their proper afterlives.
While it takes as long as it takes, and there’s no judgment in that, time as we know it stops for the dead in the Gray Zone. That means their souls don’t continue their immortal journey until they move on to the afterlife and begin to heal. Their first stop in their proper afterlife is with someone like my dad, who runs what I call a Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side.
However, the dead have to choose to move on to the afterlife. While many things can hold them back, one of the biggest is us—the loved ones they leave behind.
Of course they don’t want to leave us, either. We believe that loving someone means never letting go, when, in fact, once someone dies, we have to. Both sides are in different realms, then, and both sides will now move on in different ways. Whether we like it or not. Tough words, but true ones.
Part of our concern about letting go is that we think if we do we’ll never be able to connect with them again. What we don’t know, because no one ever told us, is that we will be able to develop a stronger, healthier connection with our dead once they have moved on to the afterlife. So we hang onto them—while they’re still in the Gray Zone.
But there’s a problem with that. Our souls are immortal, our journeys continue forever—unless we stay in the Gray Zone. The dead should stay there only as long as we need to for their souls to be ready to move on and rest up, review the life just lived, and pick a new experience. If we cling to our dead and hold them back, they might not leave the Gray Zone for a new experience.
According to my dad, the afterlife is quite the experience, “more than you could ever imagine when you’re in a body, and why you need to let go of your body to experience it.” But the dead don’t get the full experience of it until they move past the Gray Zone.
This is why you need to let go of your loved ones when they die. Moving on to the afterlife is the natural progression of life. Staying here and living is our natural progression without them.
Let me urge you to be brave and do one last loving thing for your deceased loved ones. As soon as you know they’ve died, jump in and tell them: “You’re dead. I love you. I’ll always miss you. We’ll see each other again. Please move on to the afterlife.”
I guarantee this will help. And I guarantee that it will make a difference, because ANYONE who is still alive can talk to their dead and urge them to move on, whether you think they can hear you or not, because they can and do.
I’ll go into this more in future articles, but here’s one thing I want you to remember, now. It’s fear that’s keeping you, and your dead, from letting go. Fear is the major roadblock for the living and the dead. For the dead it’s fear of losing the loved ones we left behind, fear of being dead, fear that we’ll never see them again. For the living, it’s fear of being alone, of loss, of never seeing them again.
But you will see them again, once you have both moved on to the afterlife. I know that. I’ve seen it. Deep down you know it, too.
This is the one thing that you can do for your loved ones that matters. Let them go.
Peace.
© 2016 Robyn M Fritz