How can we let go of our dead?

We were talking about this on my radio show, Bridging the Paradigms on NewsfortheSoul.com on Jan. 18, 2016.

People were saying that they just can’t say goodbye and let go of their deceased loved ones, they can’t move on without them.

Let me tell you why we need to. First, let’s preface that with a beautiful quote pulled from a Daily Beast article by Pete Dexter and Jeff Nale (1/29/16) on the coming death of Dexter’s dog: “Dr. Parent does not like what he is feeling, and all there is to say about the next 10 minutes—if there is something more to this story than the end of a dog—it is that what you do when there’s nothing you can do can matter for a long time.” (emphasis mine)

Such beautiful writing, and so true! “What you do when there’s nothing you can do can matter for a long time.”

What you do when a loved one dies matters for a very long time. Here’s why: We are all souls, yes, souls who have chosen to experience life in organic bodies that will eventually break down and die. We are programmed to survive, so we naturally resist dying. Worse, our culture makes it harder because it refuses to acknowledge death. Worse yet, when we love someone, human or animal, we don’t want them to die. We came together to live, not die, and saying goodbye and letting go—those aren’t things we want to think about or live through.

See that quote above? When someone dies, what we do next matters very much. And what matters is that both sides let go.

The Gray Zone and Connecting Again 

Here’s why. Every dead person I’ve ever talked with says they wake up in a different place unlike anything they ever saw when they were alive, and far different from the last thing they remember seeing. It often appears as a gray or hazy place, like fog, which is why I call it the Gray Zone.

Now, don’t be afraid of the Gray Zone. It’s not tied to any religion or culture. The Gray Zone is simply the place where the dead literally wake up dead and hang out in until they choose to move on to what I call their proper afterlife. It’s in the Gray Zone that the dead gradually let go of the heavier energies that are part of being in a body. The faster they let go of the energies, the faster they move on to their proper afterlives.

While it takes as long as it takes, and there’s no judgment in that, time as we know it stops for the dead in the Gray Zone. That means their souls don’t continue their immortal journey until they move on to the afterlife and begin to heal. Their first stop in their proper afterlife is with someone like my dad, who runs what I call a Way Station for Dead Things on the Other Side.

However, the dead have to choose to move on to the afterlife. While many things can hold them back, one of the biggest is us—the loved ones they leave behind.

Of course they don’t want to leave us, either. We believe that loving someone means never letting go, when, in fact, once someone dies, we have to. Both sides are in different realms, then, and both sides will now move on in different ways. Whether we like it or not. Tough words, but true ones.

Part of our concern about letting go is that we think if we do we’ll never be able to connect with them again. What we don’t know, because no one ever told us, is that we will be able to develop a stronger, healthier connection with our dead once they have moved on to the afterlife. So we hang onto them—while they’re still in the Gray Zone.

But there’s a problem with that. Our souls are immortal, our journeys continue forever—unless we stay in the Gray Zone. The dead should stay there only as long as we need to for their souls to be ready to move on and rest up, review the life just lived, and pick a new experience. If we cling to our dead and hold them back, they might not leave the Gray Zone for a new experience.

According to my dad, the afterlife is quite the experience, “more than you could ever imagine when you’re in a body, and why you need to let go of your body to experience it.” But the dead don’t get the full experience of it until they move past the Gray Zone.

This is why you need to let go of your loved ones when they die. Moving on to the afterlife is the natural progression of life. Staying here and living is our natural progression without them.

Let me urge you to be brave and do one last loving thing for your deceased loved ones. As soon as you know they’ve died, jump in and tell them: “You’re dead. I love you. I’ll always miss you. We’ll see each other again. Please move on to the afterlife.”

I guarantee this will help. And I guarantee that it will make a difference, because ANYONE who is still alive can talk to their dead and urge them to move on, whether you think they can hear you or not, because they can and do.

I’ll go into this more in future articles, but here’s one thing I want you to remember, now. It’s fear that’s keeping you, and your dead, from letting go. Fear is the major roadblock for the living and the dead. For the dead it’s fear of losing the loved ones we left behind, fear of being dead, fear that we’ll never see them again. For the living, it’s fear of being alone, of loss, of never seeing them again.

But you will see them again, once you have both moved on to the afterlife. I know that. I’ve seen it. Deep down you know it, too.

This is the one thing that you can do for your loved ones that matters. Let them go.

Peace.

© 2016 Robyn M Fritz

Had a tough day at work? Groused at your dog? Zoned out and almost ran a stop sign? Came home from work so tired and drained you decided you never-ever-in-a-million-years want to see another human being?

Maybe it’s time you checked your energy boundaries. Yes, really. They’re invisible, and they matter.

Checking Our Energetic Boundaries

We all experience times when our boundaries are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Here are clues to whether yours need attention:

• You feel overwhelmed in public, oversensitive, irritated, or just tired.
• You have low self-esteem or self-worth.
• Clients and family drain you or make you doubt yourself.
• You feel you do not deserve prosperity or abundance.
• You give everything away: your energy, spirit, time, money.
• You never put yourself first.
• You’re not really a hermit, but you’d like to be.

If you can relate to this, sign up for my free newsletter at my check my website and check out my upcoming workshop at Bastyr University on October 3, 2015, Develop and Maintain Your Intuitive Energy Boundaries. It even carries CEUs and other credits for health care professionals, from MDs and NDs to nurses, psychologists, massage therapists, and social workers.

Stress and Energetic Boundaries

I recently had some intense space clearing and personal energy sessions with clients and their homes and businesses. From illness that rocked a family’s daily life to chronic lack of business, each client had problems. Yes, life throws you curve balls: so how do you catch them?

We are so used to stress in our busy lives that we tend to think of it as an emotional reaction to daily demands at work and home, something we just live with. But stress has physical and psychic consequences that can damage our lives for years if we don’t properly handle them. As more of us experience the expansion of our intuitive abilities, the effects of stress reverberate in our bodies, souls, psychic lives, and home and business spaces. We deal with that, and become our best selves, when we create firm boundaries—when we learn to say “no” and how to reinforce that “no” energetically.

Soul Progression Clearing and Energy Boundaries

One of the things I do in my practice is what I call “Soul Progression Clearing.” I use my crystal, Fallon, the Citrine Lemurian Quartz, and our own form of energy healing to help clients dig deep to discover blockages that are holding them back. These blockages may be past life crap, even entities (from humans that haven’t moved on to all kinds of dimensional beings we can’t see), to thoughtforms (ideas that are held by enough people that they maintain their own presence, like “heaven” or “Reiki” or “devil”). Once we identify the blockages we actually speak with them (I am, after all, a medium, which means I talk with things like animals, the dead, trees, etc.) Then we can actually help these blockages lift from our clients to find their own way to love, or, if they are thoughtforms, to simply not dwell in that person’s soul. Energy healing continues to help our clients re-integrate without the blockages.

These blockages cause disruptions in our energy boundaries as well. Those can be handled by learning what they are and how they affect us.

Here’s an example. If you get sick, you deal with it medically, and then you look at your energy boundaries. Sometimes things just happen: saying “it’s meant to be” is really an example of someone with poorly developed energy boundaries. However, sometimes you can identify triggers: for example, a few years ago I developed shingles—four days after another deeply upsetting personal encounter. Yes, crap happens, I’m sorry to say, but I suspected this was stress-induced shingles, so once the medical solutions were in place, I re-examined my boundaries.

That led me to claim a love that put my integrity and choice first. It’s deeper, richer, better than I could have imagined just days earlier. However, it excludes things I thought were necessary, firmly ending one long chapter in my life. Just like my clients, I said “no” to energetic violations, because our deep, loving hearts need effective boundaries to get along, and ahead, in life.

Shoring Up Energetic Boundaries

See the “angry” setting sun here? It’s really smoke pollution over Seattle last month, but it’s a good visual. The sun is yellow, right? Pollution caused it to be red. In the same way, our energy boundaries are affected by internal and external things, even though we can’t see them.

We all experience times when our energetic boundaries are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Don’t delay learning how to manage them for yourself (they are different for each of us just as our intuitive abilities are different). Our boundaries always need attention. Stay vigilant, because we all lead busy lives, and it’s easy to get blind-sided.

Ready to shore up your energetic boundaries? When you feel stressed, tired, cranky, or just generally “off,” take a break. Sit down, close your eyes, and take a long breath in to a count of 4, hold it for 4, release it for 4. Repeat several times. You will begin to relax and calm down, which is the first step to getting back into yourself in a healthy, positive manner.

Try that, see how it works, and let me know. Coming up I’ll have more tips.

Curious to dig deep into your energy boundaries, especially if you’re a health care provider? Let me remind you about that class at Bastyr University on October 3, 2015, in Kenmore, WA. Certain professionals will get CEUs and other credits, but everyone will walk away with a firm understanding of how their energy boundaries work—and what to do when they get messed up. Questions? Contact me.

© 2015 Robyn M Fritz

I am not a shaman. However, I can offer tools modern shamanic practitioners and even regression therapists use, with the addition of alchemical energy and the unique vibration of my crystal, Fallon, the Citrine Lemurian Quartz. We help you as you work to clear your soul, from previous lifetimes to the present. And claim a transformative new life. If I can do it, anyone can.

Energy Healing for 21st Century Lives

We all have roadblocks in our lives. They can be attachments, mindset issues, past life energies, even just residual crap from our busy modern lives.

If you’re ready to get rid of them, Soul Progression Clearing can help. Sometimes it happens quickly, in one session; often, however, a session reveals layers that we can resolve together in future sessions. Always the energy needs to percolate as your body, soul, and spirit adjust.

Soul Progression Clearing acknowledges that people need clearing just as much as their spaces do. While we’ve always offered energy healing in our work, Soul Progression Clearing is a specialized service that helps people clear issues that may be so deep-seated they go into previous lives, or that involve attachments, from entities to thoughtforms. These people often need complex clearings for their homes, from open portals to possession, and resolutions to spiritual or intuitive crises that can arise from deep-seated events, either in this life or previous ones.

Because my crystal, Fallon, is an ancient power crystal, with the ability to transcend time and dimensional boundaries, he can call in extraordinary support across time and space. Combined with our previous lives together and my intuitive insight, specialized training, and difficult life experience we can help people who are looking for support in their lives, from business to personal issues. I am not nor will I ever be a hypnotherapist, psychotherapist, or psychologist, so please consult medical providers for mental or physical health issues. However, if you’d like to examine and even resolve issues that keep plaguing you, please contact us to chat briefly about how we can help.

I have studied with Betsy Bergstrom in Seattle, who is known worldwide for her shamanic work called Curse Unraveling and Compassionate Depossession. I have incorporated Betsy’s profound techniques into my work with Fallon. They are an extraordinary fit for us, another tool in our toolbox to support you in your journey.

Here is our take on the work we do:

• Soul Retrieval. The shamanic perspective is that this work retrieves a portion of your soul that has been lost because of trauma, in this lifetime or another. My perspective is that it isn’t important what to call it. What is important is that Fallon and I can help with this from the practical standpoint of how you feel and what is revealed in a session. Sometimes we can see when and how something happened, and explain it: the important thing is to fix it. Fallon is a healer and truth bringer.
• Curse Unraveling. The shamanic perspective is that someone, maybe even you, somehow cursed you (or your family line) in this life or another, and that curse has repercussions now. My perspective is that something happened, we might be able to say something like “You were a Viking left behind in medieval times because you were considered weak, and now you’re over-compensating, so let’s just change the mindset and help you heal yourself.” The point is to get at the energy threads that keep you from being the best you can be—and eliminate them. After all, that Viking is dead—and should be gone. We’ll help “make it so.”
• Compassionate De-Possession. When I noticed problems in complex space clearings and eliminated them by burning up the responsible entities (which some people call ghosts, or demons, or bad guys, or something else highly inappropriate, offensiv,e and unnecessary) I felt bad about it. No use killing something when maybe you can help it find love, right? So the shamanic perspective here is that we are all sovereign, or independent, beings, and no one and no thing should interfere with that. If it does, then you respectfully but firmly remove it. My perspective is that I don’t have to kill something, I can simply call on its spirit guides, Fallon, the goddess I work with, dragons, and other helping beings and decisively remove it and sending it on to its next soul experience.
• Energy Healing. We use alchemical energy, a new energy that came into the world in 2007. It is beyond Reiki and any other system out there. It supports you where you are, from a newbie at energy work to someone ready for multi-dimensional exploration.
• Intuitive Insight. Together Fallon and I can offer insight into your issues, from blockages to better connections with your spirit guides and healing team. This deepens your experience.

What Soul Progression Clearing Means for You

Consider our services if you:

• Feel stuck
• Are drained by family, friends, and other relationships
• Can’t stand up for yourself
• Feel something is in you that shouldn’t be and that you don’t want: yes, this can be entities but it can also be thoughtforms (ideas that become real because we collectively believe them, like “heaven,” “hell,” “good,” and “bad”
• Want to get vibrationally, or energetically, clear and claim your power in your personal and professional lives
• Want energy healing that offers real results, now (see Alchemical Energy)

Even one session can be an amazing support: when you see a lifetime of grief resolve in an hour, it’s, well, stunning and immensely satisfying.

Whatever you call it, it works. It’s all a reminder that love is all that matters.

Interested? Contact us for a session. Comments? Leave them here. Let’s talk.

© 2015 Robyn M Fritz

I was hoping my horrific 2014 would not carry over into 2015, but that was wishful thinking. Instead, I now have a radioactive cat. So what does that have to do with intuition? Well, pretty much everything.

Last October I looked at Grace the Cat and my intuition was literally screaming at me. I knew something was wrong with her, but didn’t know what, only knew that I had the same feeling back in December 2011 when I looked at Murphy and felt the world drop away: I knew I was losing her, and a few days later, when the medical tests showed a serious illness but I still wasn’t satisfied, I insisted on an X-ray—and they found cancer. Because I listened to my intuition, Murphy and I had quality time to say goodbye.

So in October I took Grace the Cat to her vet and said I had the same bad feeling I did about Murphy. My vet knows me by now, so his response was, “Oh, gosh, I hope not!”

I insisted Grace was hyperthyroid, but the tests came back borderline.  Four days later she became violently ill and needed three days of subcutaneous fluids and meds—and suddenly had a heart murmur.

I still insisted she was hyperthyroid, so my vet consulted the lab’s internists, and they said her thyroid was borderline, but because she had a high CPK value, which indicated muscle damage, and she now had a heart murmur, she probably had heart disease. That’s how Grace the Cat was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy on the same day that my beloved dog, Alki, died, Nov. 17, 2014. Grace’s disease is completely hereditary (more common in mixed breed cats than in pedigreed ones, which is why from now on all my animals will be purebreds), and mild. She was expected to live a long life.

But I still wasn’t satisfied. On February 9, 2015, Grace was acting odd, so she was back at the vet. I told him I felt even worse than I did about Grace in October, and, alarmed, he ordered an extensive battery of tests. As a result, Grace was finally diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, which my intuition insisted on last October. I had good reason to be concerned about losing her, since it is a life-threatening illness already compounded by heart disease.

Not only did the medication make her worse, but I felt worse, too. There was something not right about the whole thing, so my wonderful friend Cathy and I did a lot of research. Turns out the medicine they had Grace on often causes the heart disease she already has, plus a lot of other nasty things. The only safe alternative is the most expensive: radioiodine treatment. So Monday morning, Feb. 23, I found a well-regarded clinic in Seattle which only treats hyperthyroid cats and lit a fire under them and my vet: I insisted that Grace would not survive the week without immediate treatment. An hour later Grace had an appointment for Thursday morning.

When I took her in, with new tests in hand, the attending vet pointed out that Grace was already indicating changes in her kidneys, although her tests were still normal. She gave Grace a low dose of radioiodine, and said it was possible her heart murmur would go away and her heart disease moderate. Grace spent two days in the hospital until her radiation levels dropped, and today, Saturday, she is home again.

For two days I had a house without animals in it for the first time in 17 years. The good news: Grace the Cat is most likely cured, although she needs to be tested at one and three months. Then we pursue the hunt for our new Cavalier puppy, who calls himself Oliver and is quite vocal about my work and his—and he isn’t even born yet! Oh my!

Why Your Intuition Matters

Recently I taught my class on intuition, and I insisted that intuition is non-rational and non-empirical, and that’s true. Put all the evidence together, see what your intuition says, and then act on it. While Grace clearly didn’t look or act as well as usual, she was also not showing typical signs of hyperthyroidism. I pushed anyway because that’s what I do—follow my intuition. I’m hoping it saves Grace’s life. The radioiodine treatment cures the disease 98.5% of the time, but is hugely expensive and requires hospitalization until the radiation level drops, and then less lap time with her for a few weeks. We’ll get through that.

The question for you is, When does your intuition speak to you, and how?

The four intuitive clairs are seeing, hearing, feeling, and knowing. For me, knowing is my strongest clair, but all the others are active, too. I’m not always right, but no one is. Still, I always pay attention to what I get from my intuition.

“It doesn’t make sense,” was an objection from one of my class attendees recently. She was frustrated because she thought she was wrong, when in fact, she was brilliantly intuitive. The problem is, she was also exactly correct: frequently, our intuition doesn’t make sense, which is when we need to dig down and pay attention. Grace’s behavior and appearance were not indicating hyperthyroidism, but I insisted, and I was right.

Please, the next time you let your intuition speak to you, and it doesn’t make sense, dig deep. Do some research. Even call us for a brief appointment. But above all, check it out. It may help you choose a healing food that you would never have explored otherwise, or it may save somebody’s life. You may even be wrong, which I will always say is a good thing: knowing when an intuitive hit takes you in the wrong direction will help you when you need it to steer you correctly. The one thing you should never do is ignore it.

Believe in yourself. Believe in your intuition. It matters.

© 2015 Robyn M Fritz